Mai thoughts on life

Is there a worse thing when you are going through a heartbreak than people telling you ‘you need to move on’?

It all feels pointless and personally I got really annoyed with hearing this. When you feel like your whole world came crushing down, the last thing you want to hear is that you have to move on.

Move on, how? It’s not that you don’t want to, you just genuinly don’t know how. You feel like you will never feel love and happiness again. There is this big black hole all around you that sucks the energy out of you and literally all you feel like doing is reminiscing those happy memories and blaming yourself for the breakup.

It doesn’t really matter what happened; you always feel like it was your fault after the relationship ends. They cheated on you, well you weren’t giving them enough attention. They threatened to beat you, well you should have kept your mouth closed. They were imposing their believes on you, well it wasn’t their fault that every thing you ever knew was suddenly wrong.

This is what everybody goes through after a breakup, right? WRONG!

It took me a lot of inner work and therapy to understand how wrong this was. Yes, it was my fault, but not in the sense I believed for so long. It was my fault because I let them convince me I was to blame for everything. I should have known better. I should have known I deserved to be treated with respect. I should have known it’s better to be alone than letting people use you. I should have known a lot of things.

So before ‘moving on’ I had to recognize my value. To accept my worth. To love myself enough rather than searching for love in all the wrong places with all the wrong people. Moving on just made me repeat the same cycle.
I couldn’t move on before I actually learnt to move inward. Move deep inside myself. Explore my soul. Move towards my core. Know myself and my heart’s desires.

I never understood what it means to move on until i learned to move towards my own self. So maybe next time when you see someone hurting after a failed relationship, don’t tell them to move on. Tell them to move inwards.